I am a mystery to myself...

August 16

What can I tell you about me? I am a mystery to myself; and if I refuse, it is because the good God has reserved the latest and safest Word to the authority of this land, so there is no rule more secure than the will and the desire of superior. This authority I left as a child in the arms of the mother; and I hope and trust in God that not equivocaré me, although my feeling leads me to believe just the opposite.

My father, when will the Sun in the firmament of my soul glow? Woe to me!, I am lost in the high and deep night I pass. I'd rather not talk of this, as it is for me something unimportant; and I look forward only to come Dios and give me the last coup.

(August 15, 1916, p. Augustine for San Marco in Lamis - Ep.) (I, p. 798)